A pilgrimage?

Have I got it in me?

We are currently inhabiting my favourite moments of the year in the northern hemisphere. It is the time just as winter knocks gently on the door. The trees know it, my wee family of squirrels know it and the crows know it. The crows suddenly get incredibly vocal as they demand food as the light comes up - no more lie ins for me for the forseeable. It is the time when I prepare for my winter incubation. Winter is, by far, my favourite season as it the time I do my very best thinking and it is also the season that speaks to my creative brain in an uninhibited way. It is the most reliable experiences of my entire life.

This winter comes off the back of an autumn digital nomad experience that I have already shared here. That exeprience has changed everything. It has changed my entire outlook on this stage of my life. Fundamentally, it released something deep within me that moved me from being a mother, who is too involved in my children’s lives, to a mother who is making time for herself. I have not transitioned well as my children grew from young adults to fully fledged and that is for two reasons. The first is that I currently have three out of the four living at home or in a flat behind the house and the second, I think, is because we home schooled so we are used to spending a lot of time together.

My time away from my family illuminated a way forward into a new stage of life. But there was something else just as fundamental that happened when we were living in the van. We walked our wee legs off. In fact, I regularly throw a leg in the air and ask family members where my legs have gone? I appear to have grown two wee sticks. I am, however, pleased to report that they must be made of hardwood as they are quite strong. We have been back home for over a month but the walking doesn’t appear to be stopping any time soon. I have gone from one walk a day and a tramp across our fields to three walks and a tramp. And I am walking in all sorts of weather.

This presents me with an opportunity that I thought might have escaped me. Forever, I have been interested in pilgrimages but believed that was something others did. Now, much fitter and able to take most hills in my stride, I am starting to believe. I have joined the British Pilgrimage Trust and the research is underway. As is often my way though I am beginning with the small island I call home. Winter is a good time to walk on the island so I am plotting some routes that take me via places I want to visit. Of course, pilgrimages are a religious or spiritual exercise and I am interested in that as well. I like to learn about other faiths other than my own. I have followed Buddhist practices for over 20 years now but I am equally fascinated by other faiths. I can be regularly found on iplayer watching documentaries about religion and faith.

For me, though there is more to a pilgrimage that a journey of faith. It is a journey through and with the natural world and that is where my heart will rest when I am no longer here. You will, no doubt, find my spirit inside a toadstool proving that fairies exist! I often think about my legacy because I want my time on this planet to have been useful. I have been a teacher all my adult life so that has given me a bit of a leg up the legacy ladder (assuming I have been a good teacher). I want to spend some time thinking about what my last few chapters should look like in terms of teaching and, in particular, sharing how the natural world can inspire and resource our creativity.

So, I have a wee plan emerging. I am going to spend my winter walks plotting journeys that visit places that inspire in some way and I am going to keep a diary of my travels. For example, one walk might take me to a viewpoint looking down over Brodick Bay on a clear day so you can see the mainland. It is the view that most reminds me that I live on a small island and all that unfolds from that feeling. I might visit an unloved grave that I found earlier in the year and continue to tidy and refresh my flower offerings taken from the natural world. I might find out what I can about that gentleman. I might walk in the foothills of Goat Fell mountain to find the gorge that most folk don’t see and convince myself that I can walk over the bridge after all. I might visit the Machrie Standing Stones once more and drill down my research into the Bronze Age on the island. I will, no doubt, do all of that and more.

I will try and remember to publish exerts from my diary here on Substack in case anyone wants to wander along with me on my island made pilgrimages. Those that know me well will already be thinking that the plans are bigger than this and, indeed they are are. Once they are formulated I will share but my brain needs to figure out the fact that my body can do much more than it has done for a good while.

The beauty of this island based pilgrimage plan is that I have my trusty van studio, Willow to get me to the starting points. She will be waiting for me on my return able to offer me a coffee, fabulous. If you are interested in joining me on this homemade pilgrimage project just have a look around your local area and see what inspires. I am trying not to overthink this. I don’t need to know why I am inspired to walk to a given point, I just need to walk to it and find the answer there.

Let the pilgrimages begin…..

Until next time, Fiona xx

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